stuffs

Today is the 17th, 10 days into my so-called "study schedule" besides the due'd assignment I have still accomplished zilch in reviewing the topics. Oh well, after I've finished this upcoming assignment that's due this Friday, I am determined to get back on track.

Actually I shouldn't be typing this, instead I should be doing my research for my assignment, that I'm probably going to spend my whole off day tomorow composing. Ha, "composing" how intellectual I'm trying to sound, rubbish. Anyway, that's that. I got about an hour or so before I head off to work to do a little bit of research, so much for waking up early and spending 5-6 hours to do that, instead I spent those 5-6 hours wasting away.

The more and more, I look at my calendar with upcoming due dates and such, the more and more I am getting worried for July, because I got so much crammed in this month, and I just hope my procrastinating expertise will not drown me. Oh well, things will get done someway or another. I just hope it's of good quality.

Upcoming assignments, I do find the topics interesting, which is odd, because that would usually be my motivating force to get me up and running and get the work done to a top quality, but still nothing. I do NOT wanting to be rushing to the last minute on Friday. Alright, I write it here, my goal by the end of tomorow I have a full draft written, with excellent sources and unique key points. For some reason, I want to realy stand out in this topic, I don't just want it to be a C or D paper, I want the marker to be like Wow, HD well deserved, so well written bla bla bla. But who the hell am I kidding, I never ever gotten an HD graded paper. Wait, that's a lie, only my first Ethics Assignment, other then that na-da.

Anyway. There's this thing that's been bugging the hell out of me these days, and it just really really just irritates me. I do try my best to just ignore it. I mean I'll acknowledge it and all, but I just want to forget I ever heard such comments. Even when I was younger, say middle-school I'll say something about my school-work load and my older brother would always go "Hmmph wait until your in high-school, the work is just like 10 times as hard". So eventually I get into high-school and sure I'll comment on the workload then the comments are "Hmmph wait until your in University, the work is just like 20 times as hard". So yeah, I go to university and sure enough what's the comments "Hmmph wait until you work in the real life, it's just like 100 times as hard". Gosh. It's just realy irritating. You know I understand the workload is diferent, but it doesn't make it as more important than another. It just pisses me off so much, what makes your work so much more harder/important? I hate the fact that people think I have such a carefree life, oh just study part-time, you got loads of time to read up and do your assignments, while meanwhil I'm so stressed with work, deadlines bla bla bla. You know, I'll listen, I'll even comfort them, but sometimes it's just like enough already. stop whining. How old are you? How old and I? I think it just comes with that territory. I'm sick of whining people, of how they are so stressed and how I am apparently so carefree. Oh so good life, no stress. Fuck you! I just want to say. Too many times really. But thankfully, I have controlled those thoughts. Some people are just so negatively driven, and what's the most bitch move I feel, is that they sitll score fairly well, so it's like stop bullshitting around, and shut up.

Alright, enough of that. When I start writting vulgarities, it's bad. It's bad enough that I have quite a sailor's mouth at work, I don't want it to be here, but this just shows just how much this topic irritates me.

I know I can be quite the hypocrite, by the rants I make on here, but I myself am such a hmmm focus on the negative type of person, that's only when I get really emo, and that only happens when I have too much to think about. So I must really learn and practice to be a bit more carefree. like a leaf flying with the wind, hahaha a damn funny quote I heard, because it's just really a bit too cliched and uncreative.

so I'm off. Must concentrate on getting a few good sources for this essay. essssay..why do I love how that word sounds. kinda like "assss-sayyyy". this is a lame observation from me, yes. Finish this assignment. then back to babysitting. Ha, damn babies.